With only 2 days until the Zombie Evacuation I thought it was only right to take stock of our readiness to escape the zombie hordes…..

'Dead Men Running' are a group of highly intelligent young men trained in the art of zombie evasion. Years of watching such films as 'Dawn of the Dead', 'Zombieland' and 'Shaun of the Dead' have enabled this group of elite zombie runners to perfect their skills. Living seemingly normal lives as teachers, these individuals have made it their role in life to escape the undead. Normal people would turn into gibbering wrecks at the sight of hungry, blood-thirsty, zirus-spreading zombies, but not this band of brave souls…..

Phil 'The Guv'nor' Lengthorn

Age: 25

Background: Brought up during the early days of VHS by a father who was obsessed with horror films.

Specialisms: Lightning quick, natural leader with extensive knowledge of George A Romero.

Dave 'Mental' Marples

Age: Unknown

Background: Originally from up norf, so used to running after robbers and away from muggers.

Specialisms: Organised, tactically aware and has seen Zombieland over 1000 times.

Neil 'Badass' Rawes

Age: Classified

Background: Raised by mutant mountain men in the heart of Rutland.

Specialisms: Head of communications, quick witted and the ability to confuse.

Simon 'Numbers' Free

Age: Unavailable

Background: Created during a freak algebra experiment in the 1970s.

Specialism: Counting.

May the odds be ever in your favour….