Tag: rubbish

Operation Cutty Sark Day 20

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Day 20 of April’s Project of building the Airfix model of The Cutty Sark is going exactly the same way as the other 19: bloody fiddly.

Stage 11 of 19 is complete. Lifeboats are in place, as is a particularly rickety barrier that surrounds the deck. I must admit that I have cut corners with the painting (not done it) and been relatively creative with the instructions (guessed), but at last I feel as though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel….

Although looking at what is coming up, I’m not feeling quite so confident….

The next blog should show some major changes: the masts should be in place. I can’t guarantee that they will be straight, in fact I can’t actually guarantee they will even be in place!

Still looking for suggestions for something to do in May…….

Operation Cutty Sark Day 12

~ Phil Lengthorn ~ 1 Comment

Firstly I would just like to reiterate how thankful I am of my little sister for the gift of the Airfix model of The Cutty Sark. Never before have I had soooo much fun! It has taken all my willpower to avoid smashing up the frigging thing and throwing it in the bin!

Day 12 has progressed to the completion of stage 10 of 19. Stage 10 brought the same problems: stupidly silly small %#€$#@ pieces, ridiculously baffling %#€$#@ instructions and increasingly %#€$#@ troublesome painting….

This month’s project has definitely tested my patience. On first sight it may actually seem as though I’ve not done much since the last post, but look closely and you should see more rubbish cluttering up the deck, how the sailors in the 1860s managed to avoid falling over all the crap I’ll never know….

The actual Cutty Sark is due to reopen on 26th April in time for the extra tourists the Olympics will bring. This in only 4 years after the fire that destroyed it in May 2007, thanks, in part, to a £3.3m gift from an Israeli shipping magnate, although I would be amazed if they have had the same problems I have had to deal with.

The Cutty Sark Trust will be pleased to hear that I will be holding off my relaunch until the end of April to avoid any possible media clash. At the moment I am in negotiations with various personalities that have shown an interest in conducting the relaunch. Although I can share the names of some who haven’t made it through the first round of negotiations: Jimmy Saville, failed to attend meeting; The Queen, apparently she’s too busy this year; Lawrence my neighbour, mowing the lawn; President Mugabe, not feeling too well.

 

Zombie Disco Squad

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We reach the end of March’s Project and The A-Z of New Music……Zombie Disco Squad.

It seems only right that we finish March with probably the biggest load of rubbish we’ve had the pleasure to listen to. The only thing going for today’s DJ/Producer duo is the name, Zombie Disco Squad. The genre? Electro dance music? Or electro, techno, dub step hip hop music?. Zombie Disco Squad are creating the most awful tracks and remixes you can ever wish to hear. Although, if you made me listen to any combination of electro, techno, dub step hip hop I would probably say exactly the same.

I think I may be getting old…..

This final A-Z of New Music blog was brought to you by the letter Z…..

The Qemists

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The A-Z of New Music was floundering again, there are not many bands beginning with Q, let alone new bands. So I’ve settled on……The Qemists.

The Qemists are a drum and bass band from Brighton. This statement in the past would have resulted in me running for several thousands miles in an attempt to get out of earshot of said music. Although, what March’s Project has forced me to do is actually spend some time listening to the bands that have made the blog…..and hence why I’ve not actually managed to blog for two days. The Qemists have left me in a state of shock – shock that anyone could actually like this music. Their ear-shattering mix of drum’n’bass, hardcore rock and rave may be enjoyed by glow-stick wielding, ecstasy laden teenagers, but it is definitely not for me.

The issues I have with The Qemists have even prompted me into a bullet pointed list:

  • The name? The Qemists? Really?
  • Latest album only has 9 tracks.
  • Every track, except two, seem to follow the latest fashion of ‘featuring’ some ridiculously named individual who may. or may not actually exist.
  • The Prodigy did this 15 years ago.

Having said all that, please feel free to have a listen….

The Qemists, quite simply a U….

Today’s blog was brought to you by the letter Q……

Elliphant

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The A-Z of New Music brings us to the letter ‘E’. It was probably only a matter of time until we ran head long into the biggest pile of crap you could imagine, and here they are…..Elliphant.

The idea of this blog was to listen to ‘new music’. Whether it be folk, R&B, rock, acoustic, or any other of the hundreds of styles of music out there, I wanted to listen to stuff I’ve never heard before. Hence, the uninspiring ‘dance’ sound of Elliphant.

One listen to their debut single, ‘In the Jungle’, should be just about enough to make you want to rip your ears off and insert them in a blender. The track has plenty of negative points: the endless thud, thud, thud; the ridiculous use of dodgy percussion beats; the even more ridiculous lyrics, something about “basics”; I could probably go on and on and on (but I won’t).

Elliphant are from Sweden, and this exactly where they need to go back too and never return.

Elliphant, ungraded….

Today’s blog was brought to you by the letter E……