We had such a relaxing day yesterday that we didn’t actually get round to booking anything for today. So it was spent chilling at the pool and wandering around town. It was another very hot day, although it was a bit breezy. At one stage the wind got hold of a couple parasols and sent them flying around the pool. Unfortunately one of them hit an old boy who promptly went off to put in a claim no doubt. It could have been worse though, a water polo net that was out of the pool on the side nearly took his wife’s head off when it got blown over. All very exciting!

The highlight of the day was stopping at a little street stall and buying some beautiful banana pancakes. Although, we did have a piece of advice for a Thai woman behind the stall: get a bigger hot plate to cook the pancakes on. Only enough room to cook one at a time.

It was hot (hence the face) – but even so I’d nearly finished mine before Helen had even got hers!

Spent the evening in the Full Moon Bar drinking massive beers, cocktails and Jack Daniels.

We’ve booked to go to a few islands tomorrow, including some snorkelling. Cushty.

Day 11 – Pool. Pancakes. Cocktails.

Fact of the Day: Whistling in the evening is said to call ghosts into your presence. Refrain from whistling outside at night, as you’re likely to spook the locals.

After yesterday’s day of travelling, it felt only right that we should relax and use the resort facilities. Coming from the calm and tranquility of Ko Lanta to this resort is a bit of a shock. Firstly, it’s not packed solid, plenty of sunbeds available at the pool, plenty of empty tables at breakfast, but even so, from what we’ve been used to, it’s a bit different.

Breakfast: the normal deal of absolutely any food available. Who would normally eat chicken nuggets? Or stir fry? For breakfast? Well I suppose some people must. The issue today was making the 10am breakfast cutoff!

The Pool: definitely the feel of a resort. The water polo nets are up and there are plenty of kids splashing and screaming about. Also, they play a lot, and I mean a lot, of Sam Smith. We even heard a blast of Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’!! Having said that, you can swim to the pool bar and get a drink! Swings and roundabouts I suppose.

We headed out into town tonight, a lot more touristy than we’ve been used to: tattoo parlours, lady boys, massages, souvenir shops and neon lights. We had dinner in La Casa, not great, probably some of the worse food had so far. Ended up in quiet bar on the beach.

Day 10 – Pool. Town.

Fact of the Day: It is illegal to leave the house without wearing underwear.

Today we said a fond farewell to Kaw Kwang and made our way to Ao Nang.

First up was breakfast. Breakfast here has been one of those help yourself to a variety of breakfasts that catering for all: cereals, croissants, toast, pancakes, potatoes, meat, fruit, salad, other indistinguishable food stuffs, as well as the obligatory egg station.

Next it was time to pack. On the way here Helen’s rucksack had strangely gained in weight, in that it had become bloody heavy compared to mine, so we needed to sort that out. After a bit of trading we came to something that would work. My rucksack now being heavier, I am ‘the man’ of course.

We had to wait an hour between checking out and making our way to the pier. Picked a book for the boat:

So another visit to Ban Sala Dan pier – the personification of organised chaos. Where we were stickered up and placed, hopefully, on the correct ferry.

On the way to Ao Nang we dropped off and picked up a few passengers at Railay Beach (it’s on our list of places to go next week) – although dropping and picking up passengers at sea is a hair raising experience. Railay looks fantastic, looking forward to the trip there.

The boat took about 3 hours in the end, and as is the way, we ended up in the right van heading to Krabi Resort, our base for the remainder of the trip.

Krabi Resort is a pretty posh place – some would even say luxury – we were even taken to our room by cute little bell boy cart.

This evening we had a quick look round the resort before having something to eat. More tomorrow.

Day 9 – Ko Lanta. Ao Nang.

Fact of the Day: The Thai language has 44 consonants and 32 vowels. Plus six tones that are critical to pronunciation. For example, the word ‘mai’ means ‘no’, ‘wood’, ‘new’, ‘silk’ and ‘burn’, depending on which intonation you give it.

Our last full day at Ko Lanta today. After much consideration we opted for another relaxing beach day.

Breakfast went well.

The rest of the day was spent on the beach alternating between pool and sea for a cool down. The place seemed a bit quieter today for some reason – although a couple of families from the UK were to appear in the afternoon with their screaming kids.

We also bagged ourselves a couple of well cool hats. If you can’t look silly on holiday, when can ya!? Although, Helen does seem to think she actually looks cool.

We had a little explore around the rocks and mangroves at the far end of the bay – the original plan was to attempt to get round the corner in time for the sunset. However, when Helen saw the ‘razor sharp’ rocks that needed climbing across as well as the ‘slippery as ice’ rocks that blocked our route, she decided against ‘risking her life’ to see a sunset.

Dinner was lovely.

Also managed desert tonight.

In between dinner and dessert we did both have a near death experience. Most of the time here the worry has always been the mozzies. Tonight, our focused changed. Picture the scene….

We’d just given our dessert order to the waitress, I had begun writing this very blog post, Helen was on her phone sending me some pictures. Then it happened. I could hear the distant rumble of wings, big wings. Something big, something scary was heading directly at me at break neck speed. For a split second my life flashed before, but with the reactions of Jackie Chan, I unleashed a karate chop worthy of Bruce Lee. My aim was perfect, the beast barely touched my face before I sent it straight at Helen (not my intended target – I was in survival mode). Her reactions were less Bruce Lee, and more Bruce Forsyth, as the beast smacked her straight in the face and dropped to the table. It was then we realised it was a cockroach, the biggest cockroach the world has ever seen. The Beast from the East. In a split second it was gone, leaving behind two tourists as gibbering wrecks, and heading for the bar for a stiff brandy.

Tonight, once recovered: Friendly Bar.

Day 8 – Ko Lanta. The Beast from the East.

Fact of the Day: In Thailand, the head is the most important part of the body. Consequently, no one must ever touch another person, even a child, on the head.

This was our first whole beach day of the trip.

The plan was to bag some sunbeds and chill by the beach. The place we’re staying at is in a lovely position, at the far end of Khlong Dao bay on the west coast of Ko Lanta Lai. It has a pool, a lovely sheltered tree/grass part, right on the beach with the usual bar and restaurant, and with plenty of other restaurants and bars all close by. All good.

Just before sunset I did manage a lovely run along the beach: 1.6 miles to the end of the bay – popped in the sea for a cool down – 1.6 miles back.

In the evening we walked down to a bar called ‘Focus’ for cocktails. It was the sort of place that you can imagine would be banging in the high season. But tonight, it was very quiet, at one stage we were the only people in it! Our only job was to consume cocktails and avoid the hole.

Day 7 – Beach

Fact of the Day: Thailand is the world’s largest producer of tin.

It was an early start for breakfast and then a 7.45am pickup to Rassada Pier to make our way to Ko Lanta.

It was the usual get in a minivan with another load of tired travellers (although you do get the odd smile and grunt of acknowledgement) and head to the pier. Only today we had the added of excitement of me having to sit on some sort of pull down attached seat, well you could barely call it a seat, for the journey.

[This would be the position of the picture of said seat – except I needed both hands to hang on for dear life – no chance of working a camera as well.]

You can’t get a ferry directly to Ko Lanta, we had to change ferries at Ko Phi Phi. The ferry we took was absolutely fine – complimentary food and drinks – bit of a battle to get rucksacks from the pile stored in the depths of the boat, but overall not too bad at all. 2 hours to Ko Phi Phi.

So after a short stop and change of boats we were on our way again. Less comfortable boat for the second half of the journey. Although, again, made it in one piece. 90 mins and we had arrived at a very chaotic looking Ban Sala Dan pier.

There were various boats all docking at the same time, 1000s of people all clambering from one boat to another, some going, some coming, 100s of taxi drivers looking for fares, and everyone frantically looking through their pockets for the 10 baht entry clean up fee (some sort of mafia organisation no doubt), but as is the Thai way, you seem to get where you are going. For us, a fella holding a Kaw Kwang Beach Resort sign.

10 mins later we were in the back of his van and making the short 10min journey to our next stopover: Kaw Kwang Beach Resort situated within a beautiful bay.

Check-in was pain free, as is usual, so that by about 3ish in the afternoon we were in our fantastic little beach hut bungalow chalet thingy.

After a lovely dinner of rice, noodles, stir fry veg, satay chicken and onion rings we headed on a gentle stroll along the beach looking for a cool hip bar to chill in. We found it: The Mookandabar.

Lovely Thai fella owned it, he was very excited about the evening’s footy, Liverpool Manchester City in the Champions League. He did ask ‘what my team was’ – my reply of Charlton Athletic offered less excitement.

Day 7 – Phuket. Boat. Ko Lanta.

Fact of the Day: Thailand is home to the world’s hairiest child. I like this fact.